About Us
Nik “Ludic” Suresh
Nik is the executive director at Hermit Tech, which means he takes all our marketing calls and pretends he's important. He's mostly known for writing the popular blog Ludic. He goes viral a lot, but he went the most viral when he wrote 'I Will Fucking Piledrive You If You Mention AI Again'. He achieved his first internet fame when he clicked one button and saved $500,000 for his employer, and was rewarded with a $60 gift voucher. This consultancy was formed by and is fuelled with his rage after this event.
Jordan “Maple Leaf” Andersen
Jordan was not available when we wrote this copy, so we're going to make fun of him for the rest of this bio. He's an experienced data engineer, has lots of cool machine learning experience, and is a licensed exercise physiologist. But we refuse to discuss that any further and will simply mock the fact that he is Canadian. This is a true story: Jordan was once stopped in an Australian airport because he was flying in from Toronto and had loaded his bags with nothing but maple syrup. They're all mad up there.
Stephen “Cowboy” Deutsch
Stephen has worked in the data sector for a long time, with his work generally involving managing advanced analytics teams. He has the most corporate experience of any of us. At our last company meetup, he arrived in a floral shirt and a hat covered in fishing gadgets. He had to give us a lift to a restaurant. He drives the most decrepit manual car any of us have ever seen. It still uses CDs for music, and he only has one CD in his car, from a band called Big Fuckin Skull. When questioned, he said “That band is led by my friends in America. He makes his own soap.” We do not know what to make of this.
Ricky “Redstone” Ling
Ricky has tons of experience in general software engineering, including a lengthy stint at Telstra where he desperately tried to stave off the gradual degradation of our nation's vital infrastructure in the face of a thousand Scrum masters. He's mostly good at making Minecraft mods. Do you need any Minecraft mods made? You can hire us, and we'll give you Ricky.
Why Do We Exist?
We started Hermit Tech, leaving behind our comfortable day jobs as software engineers, because we could see that almost every data consultant out there is actively misleading leaders to line their own pockets, and it was driving us nuts. The promise we make to every client is that you will never stress about a technical issue again, you will receive genuine care, and we will inflict catastrophic damage on any entity that attempts to take advantage of you.